Those dreaded two words

There's one piece of news no one wants to receive in their life. One piece of news that you know is inevitable but everyday you still pray for a miracle, you still try to act normal and adapt to every change. You know it's coming and it's always the elephant in the room but no one wants to mention it. No matter how hard you try to prepare yourself for it, you can never ever be prepared enough.

I received that piece of news recently and I wasn't prepared. I stepped out of the car and walked up the driveway straight into my mummy's arms and that's when she said those dreaded two words;
She's gone.
Those two words shattered my heart.

On the 29th September 2013 an amazing person was lost.
A wife was lost.
A sister was lost.
A good friend was lost.
A mum was lost.
An auntie was lost.
A nanny was lost.
An amazing person was lost.

She was my nanny, and I know this is cliché and everything but she was a living angel. I never say that about anyone but if you had met her you would have said the same. She was so kind to everyone and she never had a bad word to say about anyone, except Benny Hill. She was the best nanny I ever could have wished for and she really loved her family and cared for everyone so much. Her wake was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. It lasted about 3 days but I have never seen so many different people pass through that house in the space of those few days. It was so nice to see how many people knew her and how many people will miss her. I hope she knows she is missed by so many people. She was really ill for 3 years though so in a way it's better for her now. She's done her job; raised 5 children, helped with raising 6 grandchildren and loved her husband for 50 years. She was the most amazing and kind hearted person ever to walk this earth and I am so glad I had her as my nanny.

So this is me saying my own personal goodbye. I couldn't find the right words to say out loud and I'm a mess when I try to speak my feelings so this is the best way to do it.