There's no point in mentioning all the reasons why I think I might have gotten distracted from this, everybody has those same reasons and people still make stuff work. So why not this? Probably just laziness, that seems to be my answer to everything right now. Too lazy for life just when life needs me to not be lazy the most. Ok yes I lied to myself, I may as well talk about those reasons for my leave of absence from the keyboard as there really is nothing else for me to talk about. I'll do what I do best, I think, and complain about things while making them sound way more exciting than they actually are. Feels so bizarre being back at this, but here we go. I always did write better between 1am and 4am anyway.
1. Stress
No. Honestly? If you want to help someone who's feeling stressed, buy them a punch bag, or some cheap plates to throw at a wall. Or at your face. Who knows, breaking noses could be as satisfying as breaking plates. Telling a stressed person not to stress is like saying to a young child, "oh no, don't do the thing." They're gonna do the thing. You try sending signals to my brain that say, "oh no, don't be stressed," It's gonna be stressed. There's just no way around it. And you can preach all the breathing techniques you want, but let's be real here; telling yourself to take a few deep breaths in a stressful situation is just begging for some hyperventilation action. I've tried the mindfulness classes, and while they do work at that particular time, it's very difficult to apply in real life situations. In these classes I'm with about four other girls in a quiet classroom. There it's fairly easy to almost pass out when you have your eyes closed and are breathing deeply for about 3-4 minutes. But in the real world? In the real world you have a crowded, stuffy bus with a grumpy driver, a screaming child, someone with a really grating accent talking very loudly on the phone and that group of guys in the back who cackle every time someone says something dumb.
All of a sudden mindfulness isn't so easy to apply. And all of a sudden you're getting off the bus two stops early because you can't take it anymore and, hell, you need the extra exercise anyway. My advice for that particular situation? Personally, I just avoid taking the bus if I can. A walk along the river is a lot less stressful. That way you don't have to deal with people. Because yeah, people are stressful, one of the most stressful things on this planet.
But going for a really long walk in, preferably, cold weather is really the best way I know to deal with stress. Also podcasts, but that's a whole other broad topic that I may even write about again some time soon. But that's the real question, how do you deal with stress? How do you prevent it? For a lot of people my age right now that's probably a very important question, whether you're asking it or not. Because it's exam season, and not just any exam season, the, "these exams determine your career and your life and stay with you forever" exam season. So of course dealing with stress is an important thing to consider here. But I am honestly the least qualified person to give advice related to that.
I've tried coffee for this kind of situation. Don't do that. Worst mistake, you only end up with migraines and nausea and a handful of Starbucks receipts. Also vitamins. But as I discovered you can in fact overdose on those and end up with the same results, minus the Starbucks receipts. Stress eating is something my brain seems to think is a good idea, but trust me this only leads to more stress as you begin to realise some items of clothing are feeling tighter than they should. So what then, if not Starbucks, fizzy vitamin C tablets or Ben and Jerry's?
Well, I'd say fresh air for one is as good a place to start as any. I have come to realise exercise can be really effective at making people feel a lot less like a deflated balloon. But if that's really really not your thing, then the few other stress relieving tips I've picked up along the way are;
- Eating bananas, I don't know why but I mean have you ever seen a stressed monkey?
- Singing
- Listening to your favourite music
- Hugging and holding hands with someone special to you
The only ones I can vouch for are singing and listening to my favourite music. Singing does have that weird way of making everything feel better, so it's no wonder all those Disney princesses are so absurdly happy.
Really though, if you're stressing about something important I always take that as a sign that you care about it. Sometimes it's possible to use that to your advantage. I have found that personally nothing makes me work faster or study harder more than stress. It's just important to make sure it doesn't get the better of you, and if it does always make sure you have methods in place to deal with the after effects. Anyone living in a country prone to earthquakes is sure to have an escape plan and backpack of supplies ready at any given time. So why, in a mind prone to stress, would you not plan your escape route and keep your supplies of Ben and Jerry's and bubble bath somewhere handy?
2. GCSEs
This ties in way too closely with the whole stress thing, but it's really been consuming pretty much all of my life for the past few weeks. I can't spend as much time with people who are important to me, I can't just decide to sit down and watch TV for a few hours, and I honestly can't remember the last time I picked up a book to read just for the sake of it. People always warn you about this kind of stuff, but it's hard to believe them if you've never been there yourself. But it is difficult. And stressful. I have honestly never wanted summer to come faster in all my life. I miss not feeling guilty for watching an episode of a TV show, or for taking a 20 minute nap. Or for even doing anything that isn't study related. It consumes all of your free time, and when I step back and look at the big picture, at just how big these courses are, my head begins to swim and I just want to go take another 20 minute nap.
But they are important, as pretty much everyone has reminded from the minute this all started. The pressure is really starting to build, but the worst pressure in the world is the pressure from yourself. It just doesn't seem to go away. Exams, studying and past papers are even appearing in my dreams. Feels like I'm going a little crazy sometimes. At the end of the day, nothing terrifies me more than getting a grade lower than what people expected of me. Because this is a one chance thing, and in about a month's time it'll be over and out of our control. And that really scares me. I just don't understand why the world has to put so much weight on 10 letters on a piece of paper. Makes no sense to me, but apparently it makes sense to someone out there so, hey, comforting to know there are people out there crazier than me.
3. Moving House
Yeah, this happened some time during the past year. Actually it happened about three times during the past year, but it's an interesting experience. Packing six years of your life into a removal van and just.. Going. Somewhere. It's exciting, and after nearly a year of house hunting it's very rewarding. It's also very rewarding to see the Burger King sign not too far from here. And Subway. And Dominoes... Being closer to school also allows me to avoid public transport on the way home which is a definite plus. We have a few frequent feline visitors to our back garden which makes a nice change to not having had a garden at all.
What's not so rewarding is the fact that a lot of people we know live around here. Like a lot. And that increases the probability and risk of being spotted, while on your way to Burger King, looking like you just rolled out of a holding cell after a night you don't remember. This I suppose should motivate me to always look my best, but I prefer to live on the edge. Which is a euphemism for, "I'm too lazy."
Overall it's been an interesting year, and I'm sure there's a lot I've forgotten to mention but I doubt anybody's really paying any attention. I do have a couple of podcast recommendations though which seemed to be some of my more popular posts in the passed, so keep an eye out for those if you're interested. I can't believe I just wasted an hour writing this instead of sleeping...
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