Thrown out of the Zone

On Wednesday evening I went to a creative writing workshop held in my school library. When I first heard about it in English class I had thought of it as one of those things I'd like to go to but would never actually end up going to because I rarely make an effort to do anything new or anything that involves meeting new people. At least not willingly. But I surprised myself by abruptly deciding that I was going to go to it. I didn't give myself a chance to reconsider and put it out of my mind until the day of the workshop arrived. It's on once a month and despite it being held in our school library, we were told that no one from our school has actually been going. This year was the first I've heard of it. Only three people from our school attended, the others were people from other schools and there was even someone who travels about 70 miles from home each month to attend. All in all I would say there were about 15 of us. The workshop is taken by an actual author which surprised me. I thought it would maybe be run by English teachers in our school. I mean she used to be a teacher in our school but now she's a (full time I think) published author. But it's nice to be able to talk to an actual author and for her to give us writing exercises to help get us creating and get us out of our writing comfort zones. In fact I found myself being practically thrown out of my writing comfort zone from the word go.
Now here's where that daily journal comes in really handy. And yes, I have managed to write an entry in it every day so far. And it's very good for recalling details on things like this.
I was initially very nervous about going because I didn't know anyone who was going to be there. I found out shortly before the workshop that of course there would be two other people from my year there so that eased the anxiety a little. But once I got in and seated and everyone was introduced, we were basically straight into writing exercises so I didn't have much time to feel awkward. I'm so glad I brought a notebook and pen... I mean it is a writing workshop so of course there was going to be writing involved, but I had no idea what to expect.
We were told we would be getting stuck in with writing pretty much straight away, and admittedly that did throw me a little. I was expecting more preamble, maybe a little discussion about creative writing or something to prepare us a little. But no. We were given four random objects each from a bag. I got a crochet square (which I found funny because I've been doing so much crocheting lately), some weird kind of... Well I don't actually know what it was. I'm just going off the first words the girl beside me said when she saw it; "Cat toy...?" Let's call it that. It was some kind of multicoloured sock shaped stuffed toy thing, no bigger than the palm of my hand, with some feathers and a little bell on it. So yeah, cat toy seems like an appropriate name. There was also a cup coaster with a cat in some kind of farm on it and a bag of sweets; pineapple cubes. The items we were each given were to belong to our characters, characters that we would be creating and almost "building", for lack of a better word, throughout the evening. So I'm looking at these objects and immediately there are stereotypes flying through my head, and potential anecdotes to go along with the objects. Granny... Cats... Crazy old cat lady who lives on a farm? No, too obvious. Younger girl? Maybe the crochet square could be something her granny crocheted for her? We aren't given much more thinking time before we're being told to get our pages ready and prepare to write down the answers to the questions we'll be asked. We get asked some generic questions about our character; Name? Age? Description? Where do they live? Etc. All questions to help us build a character profile. I decide the easiest way to do this is to write down the first thing that comes into my head after each question. I'm not used to writing a character profile like that, with such speed and such little planning. But that tactic seemed to work pretty well.
I did in fact end up with quite a young character who, obviously, likes cats and has a cat. The details aren't important. But then we were asked to partner up and go find a quiet area of the library where we should discuss our characters with each other, and it was stressed that we should make an effort to get to know our partner's character and maybe even take a few notes. Well, neither of us took notes... We went through our character profiles, asked a few questions, talked about school, crocheting and baking. Then it was time to head back to the main table where we were informed we would be writing a short piece of writing in about 15 minutes. Ok. More spontaneous writing. I think I could do that. But we had to write it about our partner's character. Completely on our own. No asking them for help or for a few details you might have forgotten. Ah. At that moment my heart did almost plummet into my stomach, and my writing comfort zone was looking like a spec of dust in the distance. But somehow I managed to write something decent.
I'll admit I wasn't 100% hot on what I had written, I had chosen to go with writing a diary entry from the point of view of the character, and it wasn't the most eloquent of creative writing pieces but I felt that for my first attempt at 15 minutes of completely unplanned writing it went pretty well. At least I felt that way until the first few partners volunteered to read their's aloud. And holy hell did my heart take another swan dive into the pit of my stomach. They were all amazing. Four short pieces of amazing writing that all felt derived from an amazing plot idea, containing a beautiful range of vocabulary and literary techniques and all in just 15 minutes... One word came to mind at that moment; How? I looked down at my simple diary entry, up to the four people who had just shared a slice of their amazing talent, then back down to my page. I wanted to laugh. I felt out of my depth. I wanted to never have to share my piece with anyone... And then my partner volunteered us to read aloud. Which actually turned out to be the best thing for me at that moment. It meant I was being tested in every aspect of the writing process, and physically sharing your writing with a room full of obviously extremely talented writers you've just met for the first time is definitely the biggest test of all.
My partner had written a poem about my character and managed to sum her up really well. I really felt the essence of her in that poem. Great. Another amazing piece of work to contend with. I apologised in advance, stating that I felt my piece was so simple compared to the others. And then I read it. And... Everyone seemed to like it. I heard a one or two people go "aw" almost in sympathy for the character as I read, which is good. That was the reaction I was hoping for. I was told that I shouldn't have apologised for it, that there was a lot of information about the character packed into that short diary entry. I hadn't even noticed how much detail I'd put in until it was mentioned. It was then that I realised that my hands were shaking, and also that I really do make a big deal out of nothing and let my anxiety get the better of me. I didn't even hear the rest of what was said because I was staring at my page while trying to stop my hands from shaking. Yeah. I get really nervous when it comes to sharing my work, Even more so since I'd just met about 11 or 12 people there for the first time. But I survived.
We had been asked to leave an email address on the sign in sheet at the beginning and at the end we were told that if we absolutely hated it and didn't want to come back or be contacted to say so, so that our email could be taken of the contact list.

I, for one, am definitely gonna go back next month.